He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
