I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Your mouth is God's brothel.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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