remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
