I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
