woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
