Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
