We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
