every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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