his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
