im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
