So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
...so i touched it.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize