I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
