Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
