I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
