let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
