my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
