Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
