I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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