And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
