That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
