you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
