Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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