he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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