Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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