You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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