can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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