I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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