Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Randomize
