Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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