yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
