Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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