so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
