It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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