Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
