my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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