i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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