Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
