we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
