I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
