My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
