i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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