Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
