they need to just BURY HIM!
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
