no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
