Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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