Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
A bitchslap is in order.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
