The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
