Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
