I think i sorta joined a cult last night
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
