Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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