I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
