I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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