Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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