i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
