I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize