Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
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