Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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