You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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