So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
