my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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