I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize