her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
