its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I believe in your delicious
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
