Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
The uberlube is also flammable
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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