U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
