i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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