I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
