Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
