whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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