We're facebook friends in real life
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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