party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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