Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
